Posts tagged: girls
My friend and I went running this morning. Proud that we were able to even wake up early and get up.
I’ve been working on my physical fitness this entire year and I’ve always wanted to be in the best shape, not just because it’s great to look good but there’s just so much more benefits overall. Basically I haven’t been able to accomplish that. I’m still insecure about myself physically and I’m not ready for the shorts weather yet. There would be times that I would think, “hey, I actually like the way I look. I’m still trying to become physically fit but I’m feeling fine the way I am now.” Then I would just leave the house and I see people around me and be like.. “Wow nevermind. I have so much work to do.” Or like I tend to see other people who are around my shape and size but they have other attributes that kind of changes their overall look and they look just fine. But I don’t have outstanding looks. I don’t have a flat stomach. My thighs are big. My calves aren’t impressive. My arms are flabby even if we’ve done weight lifting before. My boobs are definitely a looker. They’re just there. My legs aren’t long either. My skin isn’t that great. So yeah. There’s just some physical stuff I want to work on. My metabolism rate is low and the fact that I’m two days way from turning 17 means I’m getting older and I’m waaaaayy over the puberty stage shit. I’ve always been the sort of chubby kid. I’ve defined it a bit more to muscle since I’ve played lacrosse and I’m proud of where I’ve come with that. But I still have so much more work to do. I want to change so much about myself. I just lack motivation and inspiration. Yet I try to stay positive. I really do. It’s just hard when you’re surrounded by folks at school who seem to have it together and better than you do. I try to get away from them. They seem ignorant about others’ struggles about something they already have. They can’t relate and they don’t even try to see it. It’s frustrating sometimes. I don’t see anyone at school who seems to be in the same boat as I am. So I don’t have anyone to talk to about this. Ranting ranting.
So after the run, I want to restart my goal of being healthy and trying to be positive. Horrible timing since tomorrow is Super Bowl Sunday and I’m heading over to a friend’s where were eating pizza and I’m bringing ice cream. Le sigh. Struggles. But we’ll see. I want to be proud of what I’ve done this month and for the rest of the school year. I want to be not insecure about myself physically by this summer. Especially since season is coming up at the end of February.
Wish me luck? Ha.
When I was in kindergarten, there was a new girl named Mia who came from Japan, I believe, and I was assigned to be her helper because she couldn’t speak English. Over the few months we spent together, we became really close, and we had flashcards with the characters for an English word, and we could figure out what she was trying to tell us with those. I actually taught her quite a few different sentences and sayings in English after a while. I remember that she would get nosebleeds often, and each time I would escort her to the nurse, they would tell me to leave but she would make me stay with her. At our school we had a field day and me and her were never apart from each other the whole time. (Shown above) After a while, she had to move away with her family, and I never saw her again. I’ve really wanted to know how she’s changed for a very long time now. I know this is a long shot, but I’ve been wanting to talk to her again over some social network because I’ve missed her for a really long time, and I was hoping some of you guys would reblog for me. I can’t remember her last name.
Excuse me, I need to wash my hands. They’re dirty. You can continue caking your face after I’m done.
I’ll apologize in advance for any male bashing.
So far the guy friends I’ve had are either:
-half way across the world
So I’m trying to be positive about finding guy friends.. (sigh) SMH.
Sometimes I want to cry because I have no guy friends…..